August 16, 2018 Felicia Durling

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are the courageous moves of the self-empowered. To be successful, happy, and healthy, boundaries are a must. Like trending book ends or binder clips, boundaries are a (necessary) tool for keeping life organized. Simply put, boundaries help to define who we are and who we are not.

We are whole, unique human beings with priorities, abilities, and limitations. Boundaries help to decide what is within our ability; what we can and cannot do. More importantly, boundaries help us recognize what we are willing and not willing to do; distinguishing our moral compass and personal statutes of limitation. We are able to prioritize ourselves, work within our abilities, and maintain our limitations as we see fit when proper, healthy boundaries are erected in various areas of our lives.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Ideally, everyone should practice establishing clear boundaries. When we set healthy boundaries, we communicate with the world and with other people. Practicing the maintenance of boundaries in a mindset of humility fosters connection with the people around us. Someone who needs something of us can feel assured when we say, “I wish I had more to offer”, rather than anguished that we aren’t enough. Setting boundaries prevents us from feeling like we aren’t enough or can’t do enough. In fact, boundaries encourage us to feel good about who we really are. Inherently we face limitations as human beings. We cannot do everything and please everyone all the time–not even some of the time! An infamous saying in therapy goes, “I am enough. I do enough. Enough is enough!”.

With boundaries we get to say “No.”

“No”, is a two letter sentence people don’t use often enough. We get to say no to people-pleasing, no to allowing ourselves to be hurt, no to stretching ourselves too thin, no to making ourselves feel less than we are. Boundaries also help us say yes. We get to say yes to understanding, communication, self-care and preservation, and compassion. Our eyes sell the truth of our compassion when we act within boundaries of our own making.

We don’t detach from whatever it is we have put a boundary toward. Instead, we are given more room and focus to keep our hearts open for the miracle.  Boundaries help us breath, walk out the identity God has given us, and avoid becoming distracted by other people’s pain. We minimize our own pain by maximizing our chance to heal.

 

The Center for Life change knows how enough you are. We know your heart, your faith, your pain. Our intensive outpatient program helps clients know and understand their worth, their abilities, and their strengths. If you feel weak and incapable, let us show you the way. Your light is coming. Look for it here. Call (951) 775-4000 today for more information.

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