June 13, 2016 Felicia Durling

The Argument for Ignoring Addiction

ignoring addictionThis isn’t an argument for addiction to be enabled. This is an argument for addiction to be ignored.

Addiction is a family disease. Out of the goodness of our hearts, we earnestly act on the belief that because addiction affects the whole family, there is a way, as a family, to fix it. Addiction is a nonsensical magician, casting a dizzying spell on the family unit, convincing them of a rational side of addiction. Families will lose hours, days, and years of happiness trying to remedy what is beyond their remediation.

Ignoring Addiction

Family comes first. As addiction takes over a loved one’s life, it is exhausting trying to find solutions.  There are a million and one ways we can try to tell our loved ones what to choose over their substance of choice, because there are a million and one reasons for them to choose differently. Unfortunately, there is a truth to be had here: There is no defense you can offer, no explanation that will sway, no justification to turn the addict toward recovery. Addiction doesn’t have to win because families win; faith wins.

Imagine a family life where addiction was not the bewildering, maddening, unmanageable, irrational tornado it can be. What if there was an opportunity to ignore the addiction. An important principle to demonstrate to our families is, “Addiction is something our loved ones have, but it is not something our loved ones are. Addiction is something they do, but it is not the way they have to be.” Though at times it may seem like addiction has all the advantages, it is playing on home territory.

Be light with addiction. Separate the loving creation of your child from their harmful behaviors. As a family unit, take time to understand what addiction is. Spend time learning and equipping yourselves, then…move forward.  By doing so, you may minimize its effect. Create sets of workable boundaries which say, “This is not fun. I choose something different for my day today.  I will get safe.  I would love it if you join me.”

The utter beauty comes when we choose to manage our own hearts, our own homes, and our own minds. We choose our parenting and our roles when we actively step out of trying to manage our children’s stories.  Instead, we choose love. We choose faith. We choose to heal.


We hope you choose us at The Center for Life Change. Our intensive outpatient programs are deeply rooted in reestablishing family roles and supporting family healing. Call us today for more information on how we can help (951) 775-4000.

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